She who hid him

She was born a beautiful little girl, so small and fragile, so in need of protection, her mom would tell her that so often as she grew up. Her mom would remind her of that when she bought her an other Barbie, while the little child in front of her would sneak to her stepbrother's room to steal some of his marbles and cars to play with.
Her room looked like a battle field, but not the boy toys which were hidden in a sock underneath her pillows cover, she even slept with them in there, dreaming of the day her mom would no longer shield her as a shaking little hatchling.

She waved at the girl as she came to pick her up. Running out of the street towards their friend living behind the corner. The girl would sit there painting her nails, but not she, she'd put on the boxing gloves and spar with the boy in the closed garage where no one saw them.
They'd take turn on the punching bag, until his grandparents complained about the noise.
Then the colourful group would move to their hidden swamp camp, on a raft they made with found garbage as they ate the berries growing there and used the tree rope as a guide to reach the hidden island.
“What does it mean to be a boy?”
The boy would look at her drolly while the girl would snicker at the stupid question, before they fell silent noticing how serious she was.
“I...I don't know, being a boy is not being a girl...I guess?”
“Then am I a boy too?”
She looked at them hopefully, as they all looked at each other silently. The girl frowned and bit her lip for a bit before looking up.
“No you can't...because you have long hair!”
She looked down sadly, kicking the can that made it's way in their camp. The girl was right, she couldn't be a boy, she belonged in a room of pink, Barbie's and Tine books. How could she ever be anything, but a girl.

She tossed the dolls in a box beneath her bed, not even giving them a second glance, turning on the volume of her big old radio up, the chair stuck under the door knob as she locked out her stepfather's yelling for her to come out and be a good girl.
She would drown herself in the books in her hands, reading the adventures of those brave boys who fought of monsters, while her empty Gameboy with Pokémon played like crazy laid aside to charge.
Her marbles scattered around the desk as she had a pile of make-up tossed in the corner.
“I am not a good girl, I'll never be a good girl!”
She did not exist, there was no room for her, she was not who they saw her as, she was not who they wanted her to be. It made her mad, she wanted to be everything they expected of her, she didn't want to make her mother sad, she didn't want an other bucket of cold water and a smack from her stepfather. Yet her heart wouldn't allow her to be her, because he was there...

He looked at the new pile of make-up he got for Christmas, at the many dresses and the how to understand boys book they had gotten him. He stood in front of the mirror, looking at his changing body, he stared at the slightly formed bulges. Why would his body betray him like this, why could he not be who he was? It was because she was out there, she was holding him back.

She yelled at her mother, tossing the door of her room shut angrily, ignoring the continued yelling as she turned her computer's volume to the max, jamming the door with a chair as she pulled out the make-up from the corner. She could be who everyone wanted her to be, she could be like the other girls, she wanted to be normal so badly. She viciously put on the make-up, staring at herself in the mirror when she was done. She could only see the face of a mask, a mask that was trying so hard to hide him, to hide who he really was.

He looked at his empty apartment, all alone, free at last. He stood in front of the mirror, looking at the by now enormous bulges who wouldn't hide any more, he looked at the wide hips, made to harbour a baby one day. He punched the wall next to the mirror, feeling his tears run down his face, but it wasn't going to let this break him. He'd come to far for that, so he picked up his laptop and opened it.

“I am who I am. She was a lie, she has always been a lie! I never felt like her, I could never be her, because I am me! I am HE! I am not going to go away, I fought to hard, I fell so much, but I got right back up...I'll do with what I have been given, I'll make the best of it, but this is me, and I am never going away again...”

He send that out to the world, to his own little world of all the people that mattered, all at once like an explosion that would weed out the bad. She no longer could hold him back, because if he looks in the mirror, he no longer sees himself hidden in the eyes, he sees himself on a road to being himself.